Way back when I was in my single digits of age, I always thought 30 was so old. I'd imagine grey hair, canes, wrinkles, & cranky people. My mom & dad were relatively young parents, therefore, I was that kid in school who had the young parents & everybody else's parents just seemed old, you know, like 30.. What kid doesn't imagine 30 like that, right?
As a teenager I always imagined myself as a rich, brilliant, successful, beautiful, single, childless woman. A woman who wore a pants suit. I'd surely be saving the world, I'd be living in the big city, specifically New York. I'd have those thick framed black eye glasses, the perfect up-do, I'd be wearing designer heals, & carrying a briefcase. (Thinking back, maybe I was just overdosing on Seventeen magazine & Sex and the City.)
I was set for so long on being a defense attorney. However, a second suicide in the family set me on the path of a psychologist (I was going to save everyone), then I took some Spanish courses in high school & fell in love with a second language, I felt that was it. I was going to be a translator (of some sort, in some big city).
My first year of college started off with a degree in liberal arts because there wasn't a specific degree for what I wanted at the local community college. My courses were layered with the basic required courses & Spanish courses. Dang, I was good at it too & I knew that to make anything of myself with a degree of that nature I had to leave the area & go to a university.
My teenage goals were attainable..... Then I got a boyfriend.
Yes, I settled at the ripe old age of 18. I set my dreams & aspirations aside so that I could push him into his. My future goals were always career oriented, I'd never imagined myself married or having kids in those fantasies. I didn't want that. Yet, that's exactly what happened. I settled for a university that specialized in his field, not mine. I gave up living the college experience to live with him.
I ended up having to change my major. I went with my fall back option, psychology. Even though, the school to go to for that was Michigan State not Ferris State University, I knew this. Oh how young & naive I was. Long story short, I gave up everything I ever wanted to be or do for a man who ended up leaving me & his child high dry once he reached his success. OUCH!
I was extremely smart, I had scholarship upon scholarship, I had 4.0 GPA's. Tests were easy, essays were a breeze, & school was simple for me. But in the game of love & life, I failed, I was stupid. I felt like I wasted the best years of my life playing house & being unhappy.
Luckily for me though, I was only 26 when the reset button on my life was pressed. I was no where near where I planned to be in life. Is anyone ever really? Does anyone's future turn out how they imagined? Does anyone foresee the bumps in the roads on their way to goals? It's my opinion, if anyone is exactly where they thought they'd be, they've had it too easy & should consider themselves extremely fortunate that life never knocked them off their path. I'm rarely envious of those sons-of-bitches though. I've earned some thick skin over the years.
I never did land a job in the psychology field. Not for the lack of trying though (25 applications out at once & persistence for years). I am, however, a part-time mail carrier & I love it! There is no uniform requirement, most days I'm dressed in jeans, a sweater, sneakers, & a messy pony-tail. I'm usually a little dirty at the end of the day. I carry trays instead of a briefcase. I am a divorced, remarried woman. I have a husband & I love him a great deal. I'm a mom to two little girls & I'm still living in the same area I grew up. As you can see I'm at the opposite end of what I planned for myself at 30 years old.
I've made adjustments for myself along my way to 30 because sometimes we have to learn to cut ourselves a little slack every now & then.
It turns out I'm pretty happy, content, & satisfied being exactly where I thought I'd never be. I have a husband now, who shares dreams & aspirations with me. It isn't one sided. Through it all, I wouldn't change a thing. Somehow, someway, I'm exactly where I want to be (in a way I never expected). Life has eased up on me over the years, I'm able to handle things much better than I did in the past. The 20's was learning experience to say the least, with many ups & downs, & unforgettable life occurrences. It was a "get your ass-kicked" decade. Ergo, "HELL YEAH! I'm ready for 30!" I'm ready to take on a new decade with the experiences of my 20's under my belt. Everything seems to fall into place these days. Goals are much less intense. For instance, take the trash out by the end of the day is a goal <--- Totally obtainable.
My husband & I plan to get tattoos together for our birthdays/anniversary this year. Yet another totally obtainable goal. Additionally, that's another thing I never imagined myself doing when I was attempting to envision what 30 year old Me would be doing.
I think my story here, is one many people can relate. Life isn't exactly how we picture it to be, but we somehow end up right where we should be.
And small moral of the story, Never give up YOU for anyone else who isn't YOU.
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I'm a mom of two. A wife. I'm a yooper (live in the U.P. of MI) A postal worker. I'm real. I'm me. This is my start.