Are you one those people who are obsessed with with trying to be the healthiest, fittest you possible? Do you wish you could find that motivation to get started? Or are you the one who can't stand all that fitness crap you see posted on social media?
I can tell you that I'm the one who has a slight obsession with it. And before I get anymore into typing this blog of mine (which is my first real one), I must go exercise first. There is no better way to clear my head & release all that is inside than to go out & get physical. (Pics below of my workout :))
Ever wonder what my drive is or anyone's? I have a few things that drive me.
1.) I once saw a video of myself. While watching the video, my first thought was "Who in the hell is that chubby, blonde girl in my house?" My next thought, "Oh my effing god, that's me!!" Yup. I had become unrecognizable to myself. Who had I become, where had I gone, and how could I get myself back. I was lost in motherhood to my 6 month old, and lost in the duties of wifehood. That was in 2010. The day I saw that video, was the day I made a choice to get healthy, to be me again. My journey started with the typical diet & exercise. I worked out in my home & logged everything I ate in a myfitnesspal diary on the internet. It worked. By the summer of 2011 I dropped 34 lbs. I had gone from 160 lbs on my small 5'2" body frame to 126 lbs. I was proud. I was confident. I was looking amazing. However, I didn't have the support of my then husband. I wanted a gym membership, he objected. So at home I sat through the winter months being inactive, while chasing a very active toddler around. I went from 126 lbs back to 142 by January 2012. I was disappointed & knew something needed to change. And something did change, but it wasn't what I had expected.
2.) That nasty "D" word, Divorce
Oh, what a horrible, nasty thing to experience. Let me tell you here, keep the divorce simple & the fighting over small things minimal, end it as swiftly as possible.
Anyway. It was a metaphorical punch to the gut. I didn't see it coming, do we ever? It was harsh. There was betrayal, lies, heartache (but that's a whole other story). I didn't know how to deal with a broken heart. I wanted to die. I wanted to curl up on my dad's couch & never wake up. I lost my appetite, physically unable to force myself to eat, I dropped 20 lbs in one month.
But you know what saved my ass?? Getting off of it. That's right. I had to force myself off my dad's couch. (That's where I was staying with my then 1.5 year old child.)
After a few days, I decided to go for a run. I didn't make a mile without stopping for a break. I bought myself a new pair of rollerblades & got back into an old hobby. I put my butt in the seat of my pedal bike. The summer of 2012 I went for miles. Each mile ran, walked, biked, rollerbladed, was a mile of negative thoughts & feelings shedded. Each step I took, every stride I went, my physical exhaustion outweighed the mental exhaustion. My mind was in emotional turmoil & the only way to cope was to "run" away from it. It worked. I would literally exhaust myself everyday. I had no choice but to eat, my body needed it, it finally wanted food again. Sleep was easy because my body needed to recoup. My thoughts were cleared & my head felt like it stopped spinning. Every time I was running, I'd repeatedly, yell internally "INHALE THE GOOD, EXHALE THE BAD!" It was successful. I was so focused on breathing, running, & making it to my goal point, that I couldn't think of anything else. I was not able to think of the horrible feelings I was having, I wasn't able to think about all the things falling apart in my life, I wasn't able to feel angry at that man because I was too focused on making it to my next rest stop during each adventure.
My obsession with working out saved me. It saved my mind. It helped me move on. It helped me regain so much self value back, I regained my self respect with every passing mile. I liked myself again. I had freedom.. And for a while, I understood why Forrest Gump "just kept running" Running was the best divorce therapy I could have asked for.
3.) Once exercising became an outlet for negativity. I got myself a gym membership. Now I do it to maintain a healthy mind. Some people take anti-anxiety medication, I go for a run. Some people do drugs, I lift things up. Some people fight, I do sit ups. So when some people go to therapy, I'm going to the gym.. Almost one of the same. It's an escape for some, it is for me. It's how I deal with life. It's my happy. It is my personal euphoric feeling I get after a hard workout. When I'm feeling down, I run longer & harder. It helps to see results physically obviously. It really does boost confidence. However, looking good, looking healthy aren't my primary reasons for doing it. It just happens to be a beneficial side effect.
These days my now husband is my workout partner. It's amazing. We motivate each other & keep one another going. Maybe it sounds cheesey to you, but a strong relationship to me, sounds ideal.
Think twice before you bash that person checking in at the gym or that person posting more exercise motivation. That is our happy. Don't bash people's coping mechanisms. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
You can follow me on facebook.com/yoopermom
I'm a mom of two. A wife. I'm a yooper (live in the U.P. of MI) A postal worker. I'm real. I'm me. This is my start.